Self-acceptance blooms

Midway through potting a plant, I could tell the flower was tilting, so I pulled the whole thing out, hollowed the dirt, carefully centered it, and filled the gaps with the black magic of Miracle Gro. Since it was still leaning, I added soil to the other side hoping its weight would tilt it upright.

When I finished, I had a pretty plant in a pretty pot lurching asymmetrically like a staggering drunk. Despite my efforts, it was crooked. This could be a metaphor for everything in my life, but it’s not. Well, maybe it is, but that’s not what this is about. It’s about self-acceptance.

My husband replanted the flower for me, and it looks lovely, nothing like the botanical version of the leaning tower of Pisa that it did when I planted it. I have come to accept that there are many things that I don’t do well. So much so that I often find myself saying, “That’s not my gift to the world.”

Most of the time I’m okay with my lack of gifts, but the crooked plant bothered me. I love to work in the yard, frequent garden centers, propagate succulents, and ask my husband to move heavy pots from place to place on the patio. So it frustrates me that I couldn’t do this seemingly simple task well. My husband doesn’t even like yard work, yet it’s nothing for him to plant a flower upright. It seems unfair.

Things that always appear easy for other people often felt hard for me. This always made me feel a little defective like maybe I should have a diagnosis, or my mother should finally admit she dropped me on my head as an infant. Still, I realize that my focus shouldn’t be on what my gifts are not, but on self-acceptance.

It’s so easy to get caught up in our deficiencies and forget all of the things that we do well. We forget that God made us for a purpose and it probably doesn’t have anything to do with what’s on Pinterest. Maybe it doesn’t even have anything to do with what we want to be good at.  He just wants us to love him and others. This doesn’t require a complicated skill set, and I don’t think it’s something we could ever do wrong.

By distracting ourselves with that we are not, we lose sight of who we are, which is always going to be beautiful to God despite our inherent imperfection. This is the mercy of his love.

The most important thing I have learned is that God loves me regardless of anything I do or don’t do. He doesn’t measure my worth by what gets crossed off my to do list or what attributes the world might value. So much energy is spent trying to prove we are enough, we are worthy, and we have value. But we don’t have to prove anything to God.

Knowing this makes it a little easier to embrace and share my gifts with the world even if there are still many days that I struggle with identifying any. My gifts may not include planting a flower upright, yet miraculously I still grow towards the light.

After all, even a crooked flower can bloom.


I realize I need to start thinking more about what my gifts are to the world.  At first, all I came up with was making banana bread but before I knew it had added rescuing cats, reuniting dogs with their owners, being a good friend, loving my family, a few more things that had to do with cats, teaching Children’s liturgy, writing, and dancing to “I Will Survive.”  

What are your gifts?  Please share!  Sharing is a gift!  Also, if you liked this post, you may want to check out:

10 thoughts on “Self-acceptance blooms

  • November 27, 2018 at 3:39 pm

    It made me chuckle about your plant because, just last night, I was admiring the awesome succulent plant that you lovingly started for me and gave me on my birthday. It has grown enormous and ABSOLUTELY CROOKED but I LOVE it!! (I had repotted it, so the crooked growth is my fault, not yours-heehee)

    • November 27, 2018 at 11:47 pm

      Aw! I love that Candace! I am so glad you are enjoying the plant also! They can be prolific but I love that about them too. It makes me feel like I am doing something right!

  • February 13, 2018 at 2:25 am

    Euphorbia milli aka the crown of thorns…

    • February 14, 2018 at 3:43 am

      Justin this is one of my favorite flowers! Yes, crown of thorns! It always blooms and I love that. I bet ya’ll have a lot of them in Costa Rica? I see a lot of them in South Florida. The other thing I am trying to grow is Plumeria but so far he has not committed to me!

  • December 18, 2017 at 1:18 am

    I loved your article! It was nice and thoughtful and made me think about myself. Thank you. That was your gift to me. I really enjoyed it.

    • January 22, 2018 at 5:23 pm

      I just now saw your sweet comment! I am glad you could relate to it. I think part of aging is learning to accept our strengths and weaknesses.

  • December 12, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    Hmmm. This is quite thought provoking… I’m going to get back to you on this one. I do think you have many gifts and I’m thankful you are remaining open to them…. 🙂

    • December 12, 2017 at 10:51 pm

      Thankfully, your gifts are different than mine or I don’t know where I would be without your help!

  • December 12, 2017 at 7:44 pm

    I am happy Mercy Me Is back. This is a wonderful gift from God to you. Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year, Keep up the good works. Love the Parolas

    • December 12, 2017 at 10:48 pm

      Thank you, it’s good to be back! I’ve missed hearing from you! Merry Christmas to you!

Comments are closed.